A King has died in my place

As I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror
I wondered why my life wasn't much clearer
My path was a puzzle that I couldn't figure out
I felt lost and alone, full of despair, full of doubt
What was I supposed to do, who was I supposed to be
I looked and I looked but I could not see
Then as I stared into my eyes someone else stared back
My head started spinning and the room went black...

I started having visions of things I did not know
I had no way of escape, there was nowhere to go
I saw angels singing and demons screaming
my body was awake, but my soul was dreaming
An angel strummed a harp, a demon rang a bell
I saw the pearly gates of Heaven and the dungeons of Hell

Heaven was a waterfall, an island, a song
Heaven was gentle, and yet Heaven was strong
It was a baby's first breath, a garden's first bloom
the first ray of sunlight as it lights up a room
It was the morning dew as it glistens in the sun
A mothers loving hug, a child having fun
It was a giggle, a laugh, an ear to ear grin
an intense feeling that glowed within
Heaven was a gently gliding leaf as it floats upon a breeze
Heaven was a beautiful place and it put my mind at ease
It was the feeling of happiness, of joy, of love
It was at the same time everything I ever dreamed of
It was all of those feelings, come together at one time
Heaven made me smile, Heaven was sublime

As I walked the halls of Heaven, lo and behold
walls of uncut diamonds, and floors of brilliant gold
A melody played, and it soothed my heart
I said to God "I want to stay with you forever, I never want to be apart"
I didn't see God, but I heard His voice
He said "Heaven awaits, child, but it's up to you to make the choice.
The choice of how you live your life, day after day."
and as quickly as I got to Heaven, my vision carried me away

I started falling, and spiraling, out of control
I felt intense heat and it was burning my soul
I landed in a pool of fire where lost souls dwell
and I knew in my heart that this must be Hell

Hell was brimstone, a volcano, a shriek
Hell was gloomy, and Hell was bleak
It was a baby's last breath, a garden's wilted doom
The last ray of sunshine as they're closing up a tomb
It was rotting flesh as it burns in the sun
A mothers choking hands, a child with a gun
It was a cry, a groan, a murderous grin
an intense feeling that burned within
Hell was a suicidal man standing on a ledge
Hell was a frightening place and it put my mind on edge
It was the feeling of bitterness, of hate, of no love
It was at the same time everything I was ever scared of
It was all of those feelings, come together in one dream
Hell was a nightmare, Hell made me scream

As I walked the halls of Hell, lo and behold
walls of souls in torment, young and old
A woman wailed, and it saddened my heart
I said to Satan "Of this madness I want no part."
I didn't see Satan, but I heard his voice
He said "Hell awaits, child, but it's up to you to make the choice.
The choice of how you live your life, day after day."
and as quickly as I got to Hell, my vision carried me away

Next I watched my heart shed a teardrop, fiery and red
I heard the screams of a man and He was rising from the dead
Adorned with thorns, wounds open and bloody
clawing His way out of a tomb, dirty and muddy
Dripping sweat and blood, looking totally beat
Spike marks through both His hands and feet
I asked Him who did this and He said it was me
and He took the pain and suffering so I could truly be free
I told Him I would not do this, that I am loving within
He said everybody thinks that and that He died for my sin
Then He put His hand upon my shoulder and my life flashed before my eyes
The cheating, the highs, the stealing, the lies
Every sin I ever committed, no matter how small
and they didn't stop coming until I'd seen them all
I asked Him about the good things, didn't they count, too
and He said that's nothing special because that's what I'm supposed to do
He told me He came from Heaven and gave all He could give
He said He died for the world, and for the world I should live

Suddenly, there it was, clear in my mind
A man whose soul was loving, forgiving and kind
I felt much sorrow, the tears had poured
I knew it was my soul, weeping for the Lord
The way He was beaten, the way He had died
Led to a hill like an animal and crucified
I watched the crowd as they laughed and taunted
More tears from my eyes, for the Lord was unwanted
and as He hang there dying, He proved His heart was true
"Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do"

Then as quickly as it came, the vision faded away
I just dropped to my knees and began to pray
"My Lord, my God, I put my life in your control
I promise you my heart and I promise you my soul
and I promise, Dear God, I'll try to do what's right
My path's no longer dark, I can finally see the light"
and as I rose up and stared at the reflection of my face
sadly I realized...a King has died in my place

Very moving and powerful poem. I see you did some formatting. Great job!
Here's a few suggestions I thought might help make it flow a little better from the first two stanzas (Just suggestions):
Change:
What was I supposed to do, who was I supposed to be
To:
What was I to do, who was I to be

Change:
Then as I stared into my eyes someone else stared back
To:
As I stared into my eyes someone else stared back

Change:
I saw angels singing and demons screaming
To:
Angels were singing and demons were screaming

Change:
I saw the pearly gates of Heaven and the dungeons of Hell
To:
I saw the pearly gates and the dungeons of Hell

Right on! I would never change words in a rhyme, but I absolutely appreciate your advice.

I understand. Sometimes, it's tough revising what you worked so hard on. Like I said before, I'm not a poet. Poetry is a whole other beast from short stories and novels. And, in the poet's case, you may be entirely right, and your work is really very beautiful. But in my own writing, I will add words, change words, and take away words. I will add, change, and take out sentences, paragraphs, and sometimes even entire chapters. I had a professor tell me one time, "Don't be afraid to kill your babies." I hated the reference, but I understood what she was saying. And, I really benefited from it. May God continue to bless your work, as it has blessed me.

And you are a blessing to me. No doubt. To be honest with you, the actual writing of a rhyme is the easiest part for me. It's kinda weird. God will put one line into my head, usually at church or the park or somewhere like that, and if I'm fortunate enough to remember that line by the time I get home, I just write the rest of it out. Once I finish, though, it is what it is. The downside to that is because it comes out so fast, I don't fully read it 'til it's done, and sometimes they end up really bummin' me out. Not really in a sad way, but, I don't know. The hard part was actually living the life that leads to some of the rhymes. But you know what? I am here today, writing with all you good people. So yay!

And, we are so glad to have you here. Maybe, your being bummed out is from not feeling like your allowed to change anything that came out so fast, and maybe there are things you would like to change here and there. If that is the case, why don't you ask the Lord what he thinks about making revisions? You might be surprised. I don't know any writer who can get it all on a page perfectly the first time, even if it is from the Lord. We must remember, the Lord does use us, but he is working with imperfect tools.

:)