The box

The Box


Lord...
I remember like it was yesterday, the first time I heard you.
There was something I needed to face and was terrified to,
all night long I tossed and turned, knew I would face this...knew I had to.
Still could not escape the vise I was gripped in.
As I was awakening, just before opening my eyes I heard a tender voice softly say:"if you believe...that it is bad?"
When I opened my eyes, I looked over to my fiance' who was fast asleep...the t.v. wasn't on, must've been a dream I thought.
The voice was like nothing I'd ever heard, everywhere and nowhere all at once, like the cliche' of "time standing still" and there was a sudden peace that accompanied it."
Later that day after meeting the challenge before me and feeling quite relieved, I heard the voice again the same voice wide awake this time.
The same words but accompanied by a visual of an outstretched hand with a plain wooden box in the open palm.
I stared at this box in my mind, distracted, completely engrossed, pulled over to the shoulder of the road and prayed all the while holding dear to this visual and asking for understanding.
I just was not getting the message but I knew it was important.
I heard the voice again like a 'teaching'...gently nudging...as if saying :"c'mon now, you know the answer."
Suddenly I smiled from ear to ear my eyes still closed yet opened as the realization sunk in.
The box simultaneously seemed to rise dissipate and disappear revealing a bare open palm subtly infused with light which also slowly faded and disappeared.
As I bowed my head I heard the voice again with tears streaming down my face...It said: "as you believe...so shall you receive."
Treasures to be stored in Heaven?
I was so focused on what the mystery box might contain...
I almost overlooked it completely.
The box was always empty...
we fill it...
with faith
and belief.
The "box" becomes whatever we dwell upon.
Guard your thoughts...I thought.

the battlefield is in the mind
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

I remained on the side of that road in prayer and meditation as if absolutely nothing else mattered for I don't know how long
(lost track)?
Despite being on the shoulder of a busy highway, there was nothing but silence.
As if all alone...on the peak of a mountain but where I stood was coursing with life, love and not lonely.
It wasn't even something I consciously knew how to do but in the moment seemed compeled, invited to.
The tears return everytime I think of this...so difficult to write didn't know if I could express it as well as how it was experienced, did the best I could. I wanted to share it with my friends.


God Bless.