rhymarhyma WRITERS’ MENTOR (500 + posts)
Posts : 549 Join date : 2011-08-11 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Shooting star Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:02 pm | |
| Shooting star, shooting star
how I wonder what you are
Sometimes you're so very close
other times so far
When you're close, I hold you tight
I don't want you to go
I long to see you every night
more than you can know
The way you glow, the way you shine
I swear I feel your heat
I prayed one day you would be mine
and make my life complete
Midnight sky, midnight sky
my shooting star's so high
So beyond my outstretched reach
I have to say goodbye
My shooting star, you shot too high
Now what am I to do
I can't stay and watch you die
I have too much love for you
I tried to rein you in, my love
I did what I thought right
But you were happy high above
so please be safe tonight
Brand new day, brand new day
all I can do is pray
that tonight my star still shines
and didn't fade away
Last edited by rhymarhyma on Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:32 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Lora SITE ADMINISTRATOR
Posts : 5907 Age : 53 Join date : 2011-07-26 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:22 pm | |
| Love the metaphor. Awesome work! |
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oneagleswings ADMIN II
CCW GOLD MEMBER CCW SUPPORTER 2X POETRY CONTEST WINNER Posts : 4323 Age : 64 Join date : 2011-08-30 Location : south carolina
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sat Dec 17, 2011 6:15 pm | |
| beautiful....(sniff)
allergies... |
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rhymarhyma WRITERS’ MENTOR (500 + posts)
Posts : 549 Join date : 2011-08-11 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:37 pm | |
| Right on! I wrote this for my ex-wife. Her demon, in the form of drugs and alcohol, is strong. All prayers for her are much appreciated. |
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Lora SITE ADMINISTRATOR
Posts : 5907 Age : 53 Join date : 2011-07-26 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:23 pm | |
| That's a heart breaking one to deal with. I'll definitely keep her in my prayers. |
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scottn SCRIBE (101-150posts)
Posts : 121 Join date : 2011-12-13
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:36 am | |
| The poem seemed to be about a drug addict, shooting up all the time to get high. The speaker in the poem is in love but helpless as he or she does not participate. But still admires the addict, almost like an enabler an in the end has to let go.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, not sure if that is really what the poem is about.
Scott
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rhymarhyma WRITERS’ MENTOR (500 + posts)
Posts : 549 Join date : 2011-08-11 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:20 am | |
| Yeah. Heroin. I love her to death, and even though I grew up seeing a lot of things a child should never see, although I just assumed it was normal since the entire neighborhood was the same, I have to make sure my kids don't witness such madness. Sadly, I had to make a choice. And I chose my children. I have to clarify real quick; ex-wife and kids' mom are two different women. I write about both of 'em because I love both of 'em. Always will. Peace |
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Lora SITE ADMINISTRATOR
Posts : 5907 Age : 53 Join date : 2011-07-26 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: Shooting star Sun Dec 18, 2011 3:51 pm | |
| Oh, that clears up a lot for me. There are two different women. Good to know. |
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