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 My Salvation Story

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Zukafu
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Zukafu

Posts : 3
Age : 23
Join date : 2012-08-01
Location : Florida

My Salvation Story Empty
PostSubject: My Salvation Story   My Salvation Story EmptyThu Aug 02, 2012 6:34 am

When I was younger I always went to church with my grandparents, was saved long ago when I was a child, but once we moved away from my grandparents all the faith I had disappeared.

My father is an abusive alcoholic, my family is very poor, we moved from house to house, and often went days without a meal. With all that I began to question God “Why would you cause all this if you love me?” I was seven years old at the time. As the years went by I grew farther and farther away. I moved from place to place, lived in 12 different houses by the time I was 13.

On October of 2009 my grandfather died, he was my best friend. That was the day I never wanted anything to do with God again. He had taken away my best friend. Still life was getting worse and worse. I started failing classes and slipped into a very deep depression. On February of 2010 I tried to kill myself, feeling it was the only thing left I could do. I failed, fortunately, and was sent to a mental hospital. After my time there I was released with six months of counseling. It didn’t work, I still cut myself, I still cried every day.

I would never leave my room, some days I had trouble getting out of bed; the depression was just too strong. My parents I guess don’t know how to show love. They were never home, they always yelled, whenever I tried to speak I would be ignored, especially when “wonderful military Brandon” was around.

I began to have nightmares every night. Evil things would come after me, evil things would try to destroy me. One night I went to God and asked him “If you’re real, show me”. The night I went to bed and the evil was after me again, but I could destroy it with this giant sword, but it would only work by saying the names of Jesus. One by ones names of Jesus came out of my mouth, names I never even knew, and the evil was destroyed. Jesus tried to get to me that day, but I didn’t listen.

I tried to tell my mother I was depressed and I needed help. She told me: “I’m not taking you to strangers to talk about your *finger quotes* “problems”. She told me I never try to be happy, trust me, I try.

During this Summer I came and stayed with my grandmother, I had lost respect for my father and almost all my respect for my mother, I was glad to get away. My grandmother began to take me to church again, since God was on my “bad list” I hated going. But then slowly I began feeling hope when I was in there, people actually remembered my name! I felt love. I then learned the Pastor was a counselor and I went to him every Monday. During my first session, Pastor Tim had told my grandmother I was in such a horrible stage of depression he’s surprised I hadn’t killed myself. A few sessions went by and then on June 25th, I got saved. I knew God could help me find my happiness again. As I took that deep breathe to release all the pain inside me, I actually felt like it all went away.

Slowly things began to fall in place. I now live with my grandmother, instead of my parents (Thank you God.) I attend church twice a week and help in any ways I can. I’m still working on talking again, after years of being ignored you stop speaking, and soon just become mute. I no longer wear long sleeve shirts every day, and I no longer cover my mouth with I’m near someone (made me feel like I was hiding, silly I know.)

I know God is the reason that I’m finally free today, the reason I’m happy again and that I laugh again. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve heard “I can’t believe how much Mariah has changed, her expressions and everything, she’s actually happy.”
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oneagleswings
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oneagleswings

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Posts : 4323
Age : 60
Join date : 2011-08-30
Location : south carolina

My Salvation Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: My Salvation Story   My Salvation Story EmptyThu Aug 02, 2012 3:34 pm

It took courage and strength to share your story and what a story! I read it out loud to my fiance'...we were both very moved by how The Lord is working in your life.
We are dealing with somewhat similar issues at this time and please trust that you are not alone. You are in His Loving arms and in our prayers.
I can't wait to see the "actually happy" expressions at the end of this journey also. I have no doubt that these trials for us and you and others who are going through the same, are only temporary as long as we trust in Jesus.
1997 i was where you were in february 2010 and i was literally saved from certain death, in fact i'd died more than once and more than physically. So i do understand Grace now, in so much as the existence and depth of God's Grace remains an unfathomable mystery.
I'm just very grateful and grateful that you are still here to witness to all, Amen!

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dove 
 
"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible."
- Thomas Aquinas
"Dear God, please save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work"
"If the primary aim of a Captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever"-Saint Thomas Aquinas 

God Bless
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Lora
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Lora

Posts : 5907
Age : 48
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Southern CA

My Salvation Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: My Salvation Story   My Salvation Story EmptyThu Aug 02, 2012 5:51 pm

Wow! What an incredible story! I can envision you writing your memoirs with the purpose of helping other kids like you out there. There are a lot of kids still hurting just like you were. You have such a wonderful testimony! Praise God!

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God Bless, Lora  Nice Ta Meet Ya
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