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I knew it was a bad sign when my airline ticket didn't say "25A" or even "25 D" which would represent the window seat I had requested. Even "C" or "F" would have been better but there it was ....the dreaded "E"- the middle seat-the seat of pure torture on a long six hour flight. I knew I should have just cancelled the trip and gone to purchase a ticket from Jet Blue...
I boarded the plane with high hopes that perhaps another scrapbooker might be returning from the expo, or even a grandma with photos to show me of her adorable grandkid's or a fun collage student coming to visit parents or even just another LOL (little ole lady). But as I approached I saw the window seat was occupied by a LOM (little ole man) and my heart sank. He didn't look like he would want to trade seats....this would be one trip where my camera would stay in my purse...
I dropped my new travel bag on the seat and went on back to the ladies room. When I came back I saw that seat DC was occupied by yet another LOM (little ole man) and I knew this was not going to be an exciting adventure in the sky.
We nodded hello and the two LOGHM (little ole gray-haired men) each bought headphones and settled in to watch the in flight movie. Now, I have nothing against LOGHM (I am happily married to one of those silver foxes) but it put me in a rather awkward position. I was sleepy and thought I might be able to catch a few winks but the thought of falling asleep and either snoring, drooling or falling over onto one of the handsome gray haired dudes on either side was what kept me "mostly" awake....well, that and the adorable little baby in the seat behind me whose crying seemed directed at my sensitive ears.
One of them would fall asleep and their limbs would edge their way toward mine and I would try to sit as confined in my seat as I could. Then the other one would fall asleep and the limbs on that side would edge toward my chubby little ole lady limbs. The seats in front of us where no longer in the upright position which made the tight space seem even more claustrophobic. I put my purse in my lap to give my size 8 feet more room. oops! Was that the shoe of the
person in front of me that I stretched into.....
I was so thankful when finally we touched ground and I could escape the dreaded middle seat and run into the arms of my own silver fox!
My Conclusions:
* All middle seats should be taken out of the rows or only sold to members of the immediate family.
* Little ole ladies should not be forced to sleep with strangers!!
* If a little ole lady with a camera sits in a row of LOF's (Little ole folks)with no cameras and who are buying earphones, LOF's should
ask LOL if she would like the window seat.
* If the airline asks you what seat you want then they should give you that seat or tell you that you might possibly
end up in the dreaded middle seat........
Of course these are just my ideas and they may not fly............