I'm stumped....

I'm writing a sequel to my "conversation with Christ" poem and For this one I'm going deep, pushing the bar to reach people lost in darker areas, and stuff I can relate with but I dug myself in a whole, and it's one in the context of the story I feel like I'm supposed to tackle, it goes into the problem of father wounds, and that's something I don't understand, and have no knowledge I'm through my years of ministry and seminary school experience! I would just like y'all's input on the last couple of lines! Typically in my conversational pieces I put Gods response as how He's answered me, or how His scripture responds but I honestly don't know how He would respond to someone who doesn't at all want a father! Thank you!


"A conversation with Christ pt. 2"

Oh Jesus you said "put your fingers through the holes in My hands and feet if it helps you believe" and I can only reply 'run your hands across the scars on my wrist if it helps you see, I'm hopeless and lost in brokenness'
If the doctor can't help me how could you?!
I've taken far too many prescriptions
And the only thing that helps is my addiction
My razor
My savior under my shoelaces
I can count the days since I've been happy on my wrists and hips
How's that for a prognosis?!
So tell me 'Great Doctor' how can you possibly help me?!

"Oh my daughter
If you had any clue just what I could do to help yo...."

Oh just like the boys that used me?!
Coming home crying to a dad that abused me?!
why would I ever want a father
and makes you think you have the right to call me daughter?!

I think everyone desires a father, that is, a father who treats us the way we should be treated. I think that's where you start in a case like that. A real father cherishes, protects, respects, and loves his little girl. As much as a girl may claim that they want nothing to do with a father, it is not true. God created all of us to want and need a father. It's just that we don't want a father who abuses us, but a father who really loves us, like God the Father does. Just sayin'

I used to want to physically kill my dad for leaving me, even though I never knew him. For forty-two years I had a hatred in my heart that was actually damaging me, until one day I realized I can not believe my life is written in the palm of God's hand, but my dad's life isn't. For reasons I didn't understand, but do now, my dad was supposed to live his life without me. If that makes any sense, and is in any way helpful, right on.