13 guidelines before and after you say I do

My heart bleeds to see the divorce rate in an all time high.Also many people are unhappily married especially after postponing their happiness in anticipation for that "special someone" .The information below will equip you whether you have said "I do " or you are just about to say it.
1.God must be the number one binding force in every marriage: It is very important to marry someone who reveres God. He or she is trusting the Creator for strength to remain faithful in good and bad times. I sympathize with those who have an unbelieving partner for one reason or the other. Keep praying , for with God all things are possible.

2. Learn to be happy with self: Self discovery ,accepting forgiveness from God and forgiving self is a process. The "single season" is a good time to develop oneself and learn from other people's experiences.

3. Have realistic expectations: We are more likely to remain in a marriage when we have realistic expectations of what it is to be joined to someone.

4. Whatever you begin, you have to finish : If while dating or at the beginning of marriage you always bought roses/cooked for your spouse , it is not a good idea to stop right after the honey moon(except when physically impossible to continue the action). It may start creating tensions.

5. Its no more only about you: Every action affects two lives and possibly more.

6. Accept that you cannot change people : say to yourself I cannot change my "man" or "woman" .But, we can influence the decisions of others.

7.If we close our eyes to red-flags when falling in love, our eyes would be open to the red-flags when falling out of Love: If someone cheats during the dating phase , they are more likely to continue the behavior during marriage.

8If you can't picture the person in ten years time, you may not be in the picture when the time comes. When saying "I do " to someone, it must be for much more than the outward appearance. Also married couples should continually motivate the other party to look their best.

9. As humans , we have shortcomings, but a good attitude, prayers and support can help us through out the journey

10. Know what can be compromised and what can't be compromised before and after you say" I do"

11. Don't judge the book by the cover but open it and read it line by line.

12. if you are missing your directions, you stop and seek help from the GPS or map. So in life its okay to STOP when you are headed the wrong path and seek positive help .

13. Love smart: Remember that you have to love yourself before you can effectively love others. [u]

I've been happily married for several years. I stay married for many, many reasons. So I didn't mark off anything in the pole. My husband is my friend, lover, and partner in raising our kids. And, we both love the Lord. I can't imagine life without him. It is sad to see so many marriages destroyed today. The messages that the media bombards our homes with about marriage are very evil. That's why I especially liked your suggestion in #3:

3. Have realistic expectations: We are more likely to remain in a marriage when we have realistic expectations of what it is to be joined to someone.

People get married thinking that life will be full of bliss and happiness. That in perfect marriages, couples never fight. That a perfect match includes someone who will always agree with you. And, if it all doesn't pan out, you can just get a divorce. No problem. It's all hogwash.

On the contrary, in a healthy marriage, couples disagree and even have arguments. If they don't, something's wrong, because that means they are no longer communicating. I even postulate, that disagreements help a marriage to grow, because you learn more about each other and how to treat each other, and you grow as a couple because of it. The trick is, learning how to fight fairly with one another. This, my husband and I have learned to do pretty well. That's why we are able to stick together and our love grows more strongly over the years. If you can have a disagreement without accusatory tones or words and with intentions to resolve the matter in a mature, adult manner, you're on the right track.

Didn't mark the poll. Good suggestions all. Have been married 45 years this month for many reasons.
God Bless and Keep you

Happy anniversary!!!