Rotten Potatoes

Rotten Potato
By
Jan Phillips
About a half mile from the main road, nestled against the small hill stood a two story white house. There was a wide front porch where you could set and visit or play if you were a child. Next to it was a big red barn with a hay loft on top and on the bottom was a breezeway with stalls on each side. It was a picture post card setting where real people lived, loved, and played.
I was around seven years old that summer and my sister Vicki was around ten years old. It was one of those summer days when its warm but not hot and you just feel lazy and want to sit around drinking something cold and if you are a kid you just want to play or go swimming and be left alone to do your own thing. However, when you live on a farm everyone has chores to do and we were no different that lazy summer day.
The potato crop had been harvested earlier that summer and put in the cellar. The old potatoes that were left in the cellar at that time were culled and moved to the barn loft where it was dry and they would get a cool breeze and last longer. Ever so often during the summer it was the job of my sister Vicki and I to climb up in the barn loft and cull the rotten potatoes. My mother, bless her soul, chose this day of days for us to do that particular chore. I was small for a seven year old, and it seemed like that hay loft was hundreds of feet off the ground.
There was a boy who lived on a neighboring farm who was about our age, but my sister and I never liked him because he was mean. We will call him Tommy for the sake of the story. It so happened the day we were to cull the rotten potatoes, Tommy decided to come and visit wanting to play. We were up in the barn loft when he showed up. Tommy said “Come down and play.” Vicki said “We have chores to do. We can’t play today.” Tommy said “I’ll wait until you’re done.” So we both said “fine” at the same time. Besides, we knew we would get in big trouble with momma if we didn’t get our chores done, and let’s face it she was a lot meaner than Tommy ever thought about being.
We continued picking out the rotten potatoes and throwing them out of the barn loft for the chickens or other animals to eat. Tommy got tired of waiting on us and his mean streak came out and before you know it trouble started. We would throw out the rotten potatoes and he would chunk them back at us. Since his aim wasn’t all that good, they would sometimes hit the side of the door and splatter us and sometimes his aim was good and they would come in the door and hit the floor of the loft or us if we happened to be in the way. Either way it was making a big mess we knew we would have to clean up so I yelled “stop it, we will get in trouble”. He just laughed and kept right on throwing them back. I decided to see if I could throw them at him and hit him, but he would throw one and then run back under the breezeway where we could not hit him or even see him all the time he was laughing and making fun of us because we smelled like rotten potatoes.
So my sister Vicki and I put our heads together and made a plan. We looked the loft over until we found the biggest rottenest potato we could. We then laid it by the loft door and at the first opportunity would hit him with it. That was the big problem. How to hit him when he ran under the breezeway? We decided since she was the biggest and strongest, when he threw one and ran under, she would grab me by the feet and I would grab the big rotten potato and swing under the breezeway by my feet and throw it at him as I hung upside down. It wasn’t the best plan, but we couldn’t think of any other way to accomplish our goal. We would wait for the right moment when he least expected it and then try our plan.
Suddenly the right time was upon us and we followed the plan and as he turned around to start back out of the breezeway I swung down by my feet and threw the potato and hit him smack in the face with it. Mission accomplished. He started to cry and whine and said “I’m gonna tell your momma.” He looked so funny with the rotten potato juice sliding down his face and body that my sister and I got tickled. Sure enough he went and told momma “your daughter hit me in the face with a rotten potato”. She came out to the barn with a stern look on her face and said “You girls come down here right now.” We were laughing so hard by then we could barely get down out of the loft. Momma wanted to know why we hit him with the rotten potato. When we told her our side of the story she sent him home and told him not to come back anymore that we were not allowed to play with him.
We didn’t actually get in trouble for what we did, but boy did she read us the riot act for the way in which we accomplished it. She said we could have gotten hurt bad or killed and it was a good thing the Lord watched over fools and children. Then she started to laugh and we were all laughing and we escaped punishment this time. “Just don’t ever do anything so foolish again.”

deleted

Yes it does lead to some deep thought. On the other hand some kids are just mean to get attention because they have had no love at home. If you had God's power, would you let bad things happen to good people? As children we react differently than when we are adults.

God bless and keep you
Jan P

deleted

I really got a kick out of this story. It took me back to when I was growing up. Not that we ever threw rotten potatoes at each other but we did have a barn with a loft and a tack room, and plenty of rotten chicken eggs to toss at each I do not remember throwing them at each other but I suppose we did once or twice boy did they stink. As far as why Tommy was bad lets face it most kids are a little mean to each other given the right situation. That was probably Tommy's way of saying he liked you. I know when I was a kid me and my 2 brothers were always fighting about something and then we would unite to pick on other kids its just the way it is ( I HOPE) other wise I had a very abnormal upbringing.

Thats the way I figured it too. I don't think too much time should be spent figuring out why he was mean. After almost sixty years, I don't think it is significant. It really was meant to be a light hearted story about life as it was back then. I hope that is the spirit in which it is taken.
God Bless
Jan P

That was the spirit that I took it in. I love stories like this. Taking a little peak into a person's life is always fascinating to me, especially coming of age stories. I hope you get in the mood to share more of them!

Sorry got carried away, was very bullied and hated myself for at times being an unconscious bully it was a defense mechanism to protect myself I deluded myself into believing. Just like most of what I posted above and the story was light-hearted. It wasn't you, it was my filter, working on adjustments on perceptions right off. Please don't take offense or be discouraged. Your stories evoke emotions and responses and discussion if it weren't interesting I would not have even commented. Anything that provokes thought is a growth opportunity we are all teachers and learners. I apologize please forgive me.
I would have apologized sooner but went to work very early and didn't get home till late and regretted my comments almost as soon as I went out the door.

God Bless.

It is not a problem. I understand that people are going to have different thoughts about everything. It we were all the same, it would be a very boring world. I just worry that you are too serious although I can understand why. You in no way offended me. I was only concerned about you and how it made you feel. Never hesitate to post a comment about any of my work.

God bless and keep you
Jan P

You're very sweet cleo. I feel blessed to have you and your work on this site.

Got any more childhood stories?

Thank you Miss Cleo, you're one of two reasons I stayed.
P.s., I am too serious, way too serious at times. "Fraught with profundity" (Thena) If not I default into immature, trying to find a balance, get out more etc.
Work is good but that doesn't really count. Found a new church last week, really enjoyed it made many friends quickly might even read some poetry if they'd like. If I do I'll post it here.
God Bless.

I am glad you stayed. I enjoy your work also. And yes Miss Lora, I have a lot of childhood stories. I just don't have enough time to write them up in story form. I am working on that. My grandkids love hearing them. I will try to get more on when I can.

Loved your story!