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 Isabella's Truth

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Cynthia Gant
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Cynthia Gant

Posts : 8
Join date : 2011-08-31
Location : Seattle

Isabella's Truth Empty
PostSubject: Isabella's Truth   Isabella's Truth EmptyFri Sep 02, 2011 9:35 pm

Isabella always told me three things: I love you, your momma loves you, and God loves you.
She lied about my momma. My daddy was gone by the time I was three years old and my momma was a tall, proud woman who wouldn’t have nothing to do with her baby girl. She’d pass through the house like a ghost through the night, her dress flowing behind her. She always wore those dresses--pink, blue, tangerine, pearl…That woman was in love with color. I remember being dressed up on many an occasion, myself. Dressed in the cheap little girls’ skirts and tights Isabella favored. If not that, a clean white shirt. I sure missed my momma often, but it didn’t seem to matter.
I never cried for her.
Isabella lied about loving me, too. I seen her with her own kids a couple times, when my momma was staying out with one of her adult friends or another. The look in her eyes when she held her own baby or caressed her son’s cheek was like nothing anybody’d ever looked at me. There was a sparkle about her that I simply didn’t recognize. Her children were real brats, too. Always running around and screaming about who pulled their hair and who put peanut butter on the dog’s head, and whatnot. When I saw those people together, it was quite clear to me who Isabella belonged to.
Isabella told me a lot of tall tales in her time, it’s true. Told me about the boogeyman under my bed to make me go to sleep at night, told me about how I’d waste away to death if I didn’t eat my vegetables at dinner each night, old me about the snakes in the pond that would eat my toes off of my feet if I went swimming. There was one thing I never forgot though, that Isabella told me truer than anything else she ever said.
When times got tough, I didn’t always know who to turn to, but I learned. When I fell down and couldn’t get up again, God showed me how. When nobody’d give me the love I wanted, I was comforted ’cause I knew that God loved me. Through thick and thin, I was never alone. Years passed, and Isabella left our home to work for another family. After all that time had passed though, I became a grown woman with my own family. My children grew up with two strong, loving parents. They had what I never did, but above all, they had what I did have.
The love of God.
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Lora
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Lora

Posts : 5907
Age : 53
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Southern CA

Isabella's Truth Empty
PostSubject: Re: Isabella's Truth   Isabella's Truth EmptySun Sep 04, 2011 10:47 pm

Have you thought of turning this into a longer story with dialog and specific events? It captured my interest, and I think has potential to be a great short story or even a novel.
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http://loraconnor.com
mmiller
WRITER (51-100 posts)
WRITER (51-100 posts)
mmiller

SHORT STORY CONTEST WINNER SHORT STORY CONTEST WINNER
Posts : 57
Age : 54
Join date : 2011-09-09
Location : Oakdale, Louisiana

Isabella's Truth Empty
PostSubject: Re: Isabella's Truth   Isabella's Truth EmptyTue Nov 08, 2011 11:39 am

I agree with Lora. You could add so much to this. It caught my attention as well. I like your use of descriptive adjectives. Would love to read more.
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Moni
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Moni

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Posts : 354
Age : 62
Join date : 2012-09-13
Location : Coeur d' Alene, Idaho

Isabella's Truth Empty
PostSubject: Re: Isabella's Truth   Isabella's Truth EmptyThu Sep 20, 2012 9:54 am

Heaviness and Hope come through clearly in your writing. I know this is an older post of yours, but thought I would add my agreement to the potential of this becoming a longer work that would, in my opinion, bless the hearts of others.
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http://practicallyspeaking2u.blogspot.com
cshowers
APPRENTICE (6-25 posts)
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cshowers

Posts : 11
Age : 62
Join date : 2012-12-21

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PostSubject: Re: Isabella's Truth   Isabella's Truth EmptyThu Dec 27, 2012 6:41 pm

I agree with the others who commented. This would make an excellent novel. You captured my attention from the first sentence, and I was really disappointed that it wasn't longer. It was very well written, but it would be great if you built on your character, your mother's character and Isabella's character too. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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