Raised in religion by the "religious"
religion fed me, nurtured me, sheltered me
religion also raped me in every sense of the word
religion is...a non-entity
religion was/is...in fact
Soul less
Barren, bereft, devoid...
of relationship
demonic entities disguised as faithful familial
infesting vessels of mirrored learned behaviors
imposed by trusted ones...
co-dependents, caretakers, oblivious, enablers
an ear literally twisted
religion controls by reinforcing...
guilt shame and fear
domination and dependence on man
religion is of the world
"the religious..."
taught me all i learned, of contradiction, hypocrisy, a haughty narcissistic smug smarmy sense of superiority and judgmentality, a blind misguidance self-prophecy fulfilling regenerating through generations and even now inspite of "the great awakening" continues to persevere
raised in religion...
drank the cup, ate the bread
found out 'religion' couldn't raise the dead
Left religion...
wandered restlessly, sinfully, aimlessly for years
Jesus held me...
as i convulsed in bitter tears
when i took my own life
Jesus gave it back and said...
(mind you i still could not hear Him back then
but I sensed that I was not alone in the back of a careening ambulance that day...three times my heart had stopped beating I should have been D.O.A.)
"This is not your's to take nor give, especially over some foolish mistakes,
now go in Peace and live!"
A cell door swung open
but i couldn't trust i'd been freed
so i paced the confines of that dirt square within myself
jealously guarding my unpaid debt of sins
returned to religion's fold
where it all began to try it again
deceived into believing
this was part of God's plan
could not see nor feel
the ball and chain still attached
still dragging...
so full of self
broken yet boastful and proud!
until i realized...
that even though i was now a dog without a leash
i still heeled obediently at my former jailor's feet
religion was of no avail...
i saw chains in pews around many ankles
and wondered
"what in the hell am I doing here?"
("Be prepared")
("be gentle with my sheep")
("if you believe...that it is bad...?")
("innocent poet")
("judases or...?")
compeled to fall on my face before You
heard Your voice before i saw You
Five things said to me unforgettable
in alarming tenderness so disconcerting and sudden
a contrast too extreme to the usual mundane ambient sounds of life's surroundings
Swept into a vision...
So afraid
So confused
You set my heart at ease
led me out
and through...
"Jesus saves"
It finally all made sense,
and a way of return to senses was made
a path unfurled before me
as if a return to a long lost beautiful dream
i died to religion once and forever
reborn in Christ
and into the realm of a Truth irrefutable!