A Grandmothers Love

As a child I remember spending every weekend with my grandmother. My parents had four children, myself being the only girl. Trips to I called her Mama and since she was a teacher Miss Marge, were a special part of each week for me. It was our special time and we explored and did many great things together.
My first fond memory of our time together came when I was young and we went to have a portrait done of myself in a dress she wore when she was my age at the time. I recall that we went out to eat before hand and spent time bonding through conversation. Even at a early age being able to talk and share fills a void. Without realizing or knowing, it helps mold you into the person you will become. Mama was good for that. She had a way of asking questions that you just wanted to share with her. It brought excitement to what we shared.
Mama had a special bond not only with myself, but my brothers as well. The times we all got to be together were filled with her teaching us new games to either play together or to take back and play with our friends. The times we played musical chairs were the most fun, filled with laughter and memories carried to this day.
One of the other bonding times for us was sitting and cleaning her silver. Some would say, how is that fun for you. Isn't that a choir. To me it wasn't it was another opportunity to be with the lady whom I admired and looked up to in many ways. During these times we covered the kitchen table with newspaper, pulled out the silver and the silver cleaner and sat down with our clothes and cleaned the silver. She would share with me about her mother and their times together. My grandmother had such wisdom and knowledge you could not help but be caught up in her stories. Memories such as these last a lifetime.
Easter was made special each year as well, she would do baskets for all of us and every year she would hide " The Golden Egg" and whoever found that egg was gifted with a sum of money. We all would be so excited to know we were going to MaMa's for Easter and look for that egg. Afterward she would make dinner for the family and we again would sit and eat and then play games.
My grandmother was as well a wonderful seamstress and my honor was that she made all my clothes for me, each one was made with love and I was so proud to wear these to school and look good. She had a special label she added to each one stating "made with love my mama". A gift that lasted through my childhood. The fun of picking our fabric together and then laying the matterns out to cut into pieces to be sown together, filled my heart with such joy. I never inherited this gift sadly, but was blessed to have such a women who put such love into every stitch.
As she got older her health declined. She lived with our family for a time and then her own 1 bedroom apartment. When the diagnoses of lung cancer was given we were devastated. How would we be there for her, what did we need to do, how will we prepare for losing this lovely lady. For me there was no question I would be by her side the entire time. Given I was in the medical profession only made it all the better as I would be able to assist with her care far beyond just sitting by her side. And that I did, I moved in with her and was her nurse aide. Made sure she was comfortable and she had all she needed. For me it was not a hardship, for me it was love, it was gratitude, it was thankfulness for all she had done and in what she had done molded me into the women I still strive to be today.
One day, she announced to my mother (her daughter) she wanted to be moved to a nursing home. Was not sure why and this was the hardest thing for me to hear. I didn't quite understand. Given these were her wishes and her desire, we moved her to a nursing home. Still, I was there daily doing her baths, cutting her nails, fixing her hair, and helping her to eat. Two weeks had gone by and one day she slipped into a coma. My mother and I were by her side and my mother had made peace that she excepted it was her time to depart. I however did not. My mother had to talk to me and was convinced that she was holding on because of me. My grandmother needed to hear me say it is okay for you to go. Those words never seemed so hard as they were then. For me it was not okay, for me I wanted her back, playing and cleaning silver together. To me it was not time for my Miss Marge to leave this earth. The battle within was deep, and yet I knew it was what needed to be said and done. I leaned down kissed her on the forward and said "Miss Marge, it is okay to let go, I love you very much". With that I had to leave, and with that within hours my grandmother was gone. I was there when they took her away. I was there to make the arrangements for her celebration departure from this earth. One of the hardest thing I had ever had to do. My mother later told me the reason she asked to be moved to the nursing home was because my Miss Marge did not want me to see her die. Even in death she was still protecting me.
Her memory still lives on in me today, in her will she had left things to people and the one thing she knew I loved more than anything else she owned, was a portrait. That portrait was of her at 5 years old with her sister. That picture is the portrait in which she wear the dress I myself as stated above wear so many years later for my portrait. To this day it hangs in my bedroom next to my bed still in its original frame. It is my treasure, it is my keepsake, it is my memory that will even last long after I am no longer here as well, as it will be passed down and remain in the family.
A grandmothers love is like no other, I have been and was very blessed to have had such an amazing women in my life.