convergence

Convergence


After morning prayers
Devotions and praise
by Grace given a clean white slate
A single page to journal one day

Meditate on all there is to be thankful for
Improvements, adjustments that need to be made
Obsessions, compulsions, addictions left for dead
Where to go from here?

More questions arise than answers as the day progresses
Almost to the end of the page
Nearing the end of the day
My pen runs out of ink

I pierce the tip of my right fore-finger with a lancet
And keep on writing till I run out of space
But not out of questions
A few more lines of barely legible bloody squiggly smears

The next day…
Same as ever except this time,
There is something written atop the page,
in very small print it reads:

“leave room for answers”

One day it was so quiet within me
i heard the pins drop
Upon the page
From all of yesterday’s, yesterdays

An avalanche’s deafening roar
Out of my hands now
Into His
Buried alive with hope inside

Prayed about, prayed for
Never forgotten
Never ignored
Shown the way through and out.

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Rant for a Saviour


the invitation unexpected
the timing perfection
unmistakable in the moment
of salvation

a chance to be something more in Him
an entrepreneur for Him
broken wings healed by Him
now i can soar for Him

penitent in submission
cancer in remission
on a mission
sorry business closed...
due to deaths in the family

"Let the dead, bury the dead"
the rest of the children
have...
gone fishing

two thousand years ago
YOU Died so that we Might Live
paid in blood
with every ounce You had to give

what could i ever do
to make it up to you?
my feeble life
i offer to you

did i give it all?
am i just giving some?
are my eyes set on you?
will a rooster's crow
cause me to run?
will my eyes become opaque
from staring too long
idly into the sun?

i want to tell you what you mean to me
i want to try to love you like you love me
but everyday you're changing me
re-arranging me

just when it seems like an epiphany is imminent
on the verge of a revelation
back to square one for a fresh new lesson
eureka!!
aha!!

oh...
my bad...
the first 2,000 years of pages
was just the introduction

not even begun
to scratch the surface
of a purpose
but i can tie my own shoes
dress myself...
(albeit funny)
polka dots and stripes on plaid
a bow tied
nerdy
late bloomer

i'm toilet trained
ready for solid food
i'm sure
i'm positive
i tell myself
am i lying to myself?
as i'm headin' out the door

all fired up full o' myself
with a flintstone's lunch box in hand
shooting from the hip
immature...but ripening
here's the real question...
who has the patience to endure
another premature
verbal ejaculation?

i'm determined to find You
in every face i see
even if it kills me again
clueless bumbler like clouseau

upon further introspection
the evidence suggests
i keep tripping over my
own good intentions

got marching orders
and can't follow the directions
even with vision-abled aids
still...thick skulled

but i will try to follow your lead

you are the good in me
chosen freely
the propeller on my torn beanie

no,
reality check,
check it out!

i know...
i'll probably never ever soar like an eagle

but by Grace
i can still walk
though a bit ...
unready

spittin' rhymes
written excitedly
read from squiggly lines
it's not me...
that holds my hand steady

"Poppa, i drew this picture in crayons...for You today,
please tear up the one i gave You yesterday"




Matthew 21:28

“What do you think? A man had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ 21:29 The boy answered, ‘I will not.’ But later he had a change of heart and went. 21:30 The father went to the other son and said the same thing. This boy answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but did not go. 21:31 Which of the two did his father’s will?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, tax collectors and prostitutes will go ahead of you into the kingdom of God! 21:32 For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him. But the tax collectors and prostitutes believed him.

"Although you saw this, you did not later change your minds and believe him.”

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The words of a fool



Laid bare on page of white,
evidence of a crooked walk down a wicked way.

Vain-glorious, attention seeker,
vow breaker, faithless liar.
Filthy, broken, depraved, perverse.
Misguided, unsaved, worst of the worst!

Laid bare on page of white.
It's all about me.

Pointed finger, pathetic excuse of a man.
Narcissistic, unforgiving, resentful, bitter,
lustful, prideful, envious vitriol spitter !

Laid bare on page of white.

Silver tongued seducer,
self deluded,
sorry sight.
Oh, You told me to "write",
and I did,
full of self and emptied of You.

Thoughtlessly spewed
upon page of white.
Your's to discern or classify,
nothing left to try to justify.
Things I knew
when I knew nothing
and things revealed,
when I realized
I'd always loved You.

Oh, page of white,
The Potter made ornate vases
and spitoons as well.

A vase can crack,
it's contents spilled.
A spitoon can be cleansed,
a provisional substitute.

I speak to You now,
upon page of white,
from one once separated from you,
indeed separated from reality,
I say thank you,
I am grateful to be your's.

Across my heart You left footprints,
I tried so hard to cross out.
Crumpled it up, tossed it aside,
shed tears on your page,
I could not hide.

Page of white,
You turn the page,
re-write the verse,
for the book is Your's,
for your Glory,
words once stifled,
upon a new page burst.

"Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty,
Heaven and Earth are filled with your Glory !"

The enemies strongholds cannot dampen,
nor withstand this victory shout!
Mind binding spirits cast out !
Delayed in Deliverance but not denied!
dealt the full measure of poisonous darts,
by Grace reproaches withstood.

Oh, Page of White,
guide me in all that is good
teach me all that is right,
may these words in spirit
take flight,
to you...

On eagles wings.