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 Chapter 1 The Darkness

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cm3pak
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cm3pak

Posts : 34
Join date : 2011-08-24

Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 5:12 pm

Its a dark damp night in the middle of fall. the air is filled with the aroma of wood stoves burning and the sound of rain drizzle. "paul!" his mother yelled "let the dogs out please." she asked. "ok" i replied. I was wrapped up in my video game and didn't want to put it down. "but i reckon it needs to be done" i said to myself. i ran out of my room and down the stairs immediately greeted by my dog annie. annie was an older dog but had loved me for as long as i could remember. she was a beagle, beagles of course are notorious for their howling; but not annie. not once in the 13 years we have had her have i ever heard her bark or howl or even growl. As i passed through the living room my dad was sitting on the couch watching the news. my dad was a rough drunk! yup no way to really describe that other than he drank when he was home and worked all the time. from the living room i entered the kitchen to be confronted by my mother. "paul" she said "how many times i have told you about running in the house?" she asked. "yes mother" i replied acknowledging her authority. my mother was a very small lady in my opinion. she was tall but tiny. she had blonde hair and was very strict. very few people dared challenge my mother she was a very successful business women and a force to be reckoned with in a debate.
When i opened the back door the sound of a stampede began to rumble from the other end of the house. here comes the rest of the dogs 7 in all. my mother was like an orphan mother for pets. i think my dad held his breath every time we went to the pet store hoping she wouldn't want something new. we had 22 rats, 7 dogs, 4 cats, and a bunch of other miscellaneous animals my sister had brought home. yup my sister the 7 year old spoiled brat. she had both of my parents wrapped around her finger. oh well, life could be worse i suppose.
As i stood out on the back porch the flood light cast a shadow of me on the tree line. my 6 foot 250 lb body turned into 50 foot 7 ton shadow. yup that was me the 16 year old brute. every one likes to pick at me because of my size. well, that and i don't know my own strength. i once tackled a kid in a football game then jumped up ran off the field clapping. i was soon tranced by a crack to the helmet from my coach telling me to wake up and show respect. that poor boy got carried off on a stretcher.
We lived in an older house set back off the road with nothing but woods behind us. it was a peaceful town with the nearest neighbor a good mile jog down the road. we had a pond and behind the pond into the woods was a grave yard with 5 stones that where barley legible. every time i went over their i got this very strange feeling in my gut i did not like. it was one of those feelings that burns images and smells into your subconscious to be unmistakably identified for the rest of your life. speaking of which annie has wondered over their. "ugh, i hate that place" i said as i hesitantly started that direction.
The cold brisk air of fall chilled my skin as breeze strayed across the field. i began my 1000 yard walk to that wrenched place. "Annie" i called out. "Annie, come here girl!" as i approached closer my mind began to race. the wind started to blow harder and the drizzle turned into a steady rain. i could feel the goose bumps on my arms forming. "Annie" i yelled "come now" i said excitedly. this is absolutely ridicules. damn dog choose to go towards the grave yard of all paces.
i approached the pond it had that erie glass look with the reflection of the moon radiating off it. tall grass has grown up over my head on the side bordering the woods. normally at night the crickets serenade you almost to defenses with their high pitched noise. but tonight the rain pushed all creatures into shelter. i approached the tree line apprehensive to go any further. "Annie" i yelled. "This isn't funny any more, come" i looked back over my shoulder at the house wondering if i should just wait for her to return. i noticed the upstairs light had been turned off. Dad must have gone to bed.

"Annie" i called. what the heck annie always comes when i call her. i hope she didn't run off. the wind had picked up quite a bit an now the rain was blowing sideways. i felt a Knott in my gut like something wasn't right. i ventured into the woods toward the cemetery in search of annie. "annie" i yelled. still no sign.
the wind had picked up considerably now. with gust almost to a howl. the rain had let loose down pouring on me limiting visibility. i was fearful for my dog i couldn't just leave her out here. i decided to press on. i couldn't even see my shoes it was raining so hard. i walked for about 10 minuets before reaching the stone wall outside of the graveyard. "annie" i called with no reply. "awhoooooooooo" the sound of a howl near by sent an uncanny chill up my spine. "ANNIE!" i screamed in a panic. "come on girl, come right now!" a large gust of wind came trough as the trees began to creek with an erie pain. BANG! a large limb came crashing down near me. i jumped frightfully, "i need to get out of here" i said. as i looked around the rain started to let up a little. the leaves where slick which made for an interesting challenge.
as i approached the first grave stone i took a moment to reflect on how short life is. i know we all have to live and die but their must be something more to it. wonder what happen to these people? was it a family? another gust of wind cam through carrying a raspy sound of sorts. at first i payed it no mind. i realized that after the gust slowed the sound never left. i started to get nervous. "hello" i said presuming i wasn't going to receive an answer. as i looked around i noticed a shadow figure on the other side of the grave yard. to far for me to make out exactly what it looked like in this kind of weather. "annie"? i said skeptically. "is that you? i approached closer "hello" i said louder. the air had become cold as if death was upon me. my breathing became deep and loud. i could feel my heart beating as if a hundred men where beating a drum. "Paul"! a creakily evil voice echoed in the forest. "Your time has come".
i let out a shriek like never before i then began to run as fast as i could as my life i was sure depended on it! "Help" i cried "help me". "Paul" the voice echoed. "Help" i screamed! "it is time " the voice said again. i ran faster "what do you want" i cried! "it is time" the voice replied. The rain suddenly started to down pour i couldn't see anything. the wind felt as if a hurricane had landed on my head. i ran as if i where trying to be murdered. "Stop" yelled a voice that sounded as satanic as the devil himself "god help me" i cried "help me!
"bang"......the world went black. the rain had stopped the wind had sustained at a cool breeze. my heart beat sounded like a bass drum amplified by a thousand thump thump thump. i stared off into the distance, i noticed a light off in the distance. the light was approaching closer. i felt warm inside, a strange peace had come over me. the light now had gotten so close i was blinded and saw nothing but white. a Sweet aroma had over come my senses bringing me to a state of serenity.
"Paul" a loud booming voice stated. "Who's their" i replied. "paul, that is not important right now. our time here is short so i will be brief. you have been chosen my son. your destiny and the destiny of those around you depend on your fight. a time of tribulation is upon the human race. i will send you help but you my son, you will face perils that your nightmares would be unable to comprehend. evil seeks your soul my son. you must be strong but more than anything you must remain faithful.
a large rumbling occurred shaking the ground a deafening singing erupted and then the world fell black and only the sound of my heart beat could be heard. i tried to speak and was unable. i wanted to cry from fear but couldn't. all i could do is lay their and listen to my heart beat. its almost as if i was in a deep sleep unable to wake up.
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cm3pak
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cm3pak

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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 5:14 pm

Looking for feedback related to interest in reading further or appeal. this is a very rough draft so mechanics is not really what I'm looking for. i would hate to waste my time writing if no one wanted to read it ya know:)
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Lora
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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 6:04 pm

I think this plot has some great potential. It kept me reading until the end.
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cm3pak
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cm3pak

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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 6:16 pm

You think so??? thats great news, i don't have many people i can share my work with and sometimes I'm not even sure if people understand my thoughts!!! thank you i am super excited that someone else might be interested!!!!
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Lora
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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 6:30 pm

I'm so glad. I can't wait to see what you do with it!
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oneagleswings
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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Oct 02, 2011 3:35 am

Enthralling !
You had me at annie the beagle, I have one too but she's not quiet no way she is the proverbial howler!
Loved the story gave me goose bumps.
God Bless you,
I enjoy all of your writing.
"and then the world fell black and only the sound of my heart beat could be heard. i tried to speak and was unable. i wanted to cry from fear but couldn't. all i could do is lay their and listen to my heart beat. its almost as if i was in a deep sleep unable to wake up."
Have you been reading my mind?
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PatsyDyer
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PatsyDyer

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Chapter 1 The Darkness Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 The Darkness   Chapter 1 The Darkness EmptySun Oct 16, 2011 6:30 pm

I also would love to see where this story is going. You certainly got my attention and kept it throughout. Hope you will share the next chapter with us! Good job!
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