Dear God 3

Dear God,
Well, you guessed it. My life is still a mess. I am doing better at tithing though and my faith is a little stronger so all is better than it was. I want to thank you for all the truly wonderful things you have given me although for the life of me I can’t figure out what I did to receive all this goodness.
Lord, I hate to ask for so much all the time, but I am such a needy person and after all is said and done and I have tried on my own to take care of things you are still the only one who can do the real work that has to be done. I ask that you heal my heart, mind, and body that I might be whole again. I feel like sometimes my life is in pieces like a jigsaw puzzle that I can’t put all together. But if you could make me whole again maybe I could be of more use to you here. God, forgive those who have hurt my heart and help me forgive them also for I know you must have something better in store for me now.
Sometimes God I just feel so useless like I am missing something. Am I? What should I do now? I still haven’t got any of the things done that I wanted too. I am going to ask you to take any decision making out of my hands because I will just mess it up if I try to decide anything. Which makes me ask you why in the world did you give us humans the right to choose? Maybe way back when it was a good idea, but in today’s world look what a mess we have made of things. I am not questioning the rightness of your decisions, I just want to understand more of your reasons. I should never question why you do what you do or why you let it happen I know, but you know I am always seeking answers. Probably wouldn’t hurt for me to read my Bible more I am sure.
I was told a few days ago that things probably happen to me because I am such a good example. Of what, I do not know. I don’t think I am a good example of anything at the moment other than being a sinner who needs all the help and forgiveness I can get. I am certainly not getting things done in the witness department as usual. Seems like lately when I try to tell people about You and Your Son its like they can’t seem to get away from me fast enough. Ever once in a while, I have a person come along and tell me when they look at me they see your light shining around me. When little kids go past me they stare until they can no longer see me. What do they see Lord? I want people to know you Lord and I want them to see you through me, but how do I do that? Am I doing things right? Let me know somehow if I am doing your will or its just wishful thinking on my part.

I have often prayed a similar prayer to this one, and I can't help wondering how many people will see your posts on this site and be touched by them.