Bi-weekly Blog

There are certain's in life that we all will face. One way or another our lives will be touched by them. Certain that we will have needs to be meet, certain that we will pay taxes, certain that we will face the lose of a loved one, and certain that we will make mistakes.
Flawed, a word that we do not commonly use in our daily language. Yet, it is something that is a part of life. All of us are flawed. We are human, and in that we make mistakes. We hurt people in our lives, and that hurt can not only effect the person it is directed toward, it may also effect those in their life. Flawed, it is a part of who I am. I make mistakes. I have hurt people whom are dear to my heart. It is not that we do it intentionally, yet we do. And in doing so it leaves a scar. Scars can heal if taken care of in the proper way. If we do not treat the scar as needed than the bandage is only a cover up. Eventually, if not taken care of the wound opens again. And will continue to do so as long as it is not treated properly. It is the same when we hurt someone. Their heart is scared. And if not dealt with it continues to break. It is up to the one who dealt the hurt to heal that persons heart.
It seems easy at times to just say what may be in our mind. It is important that we consider the other persons feeling before saying it. Most hurts are caused by words. Our tongue is a weapon. It is to be used for good and yet it causes havoc throughout life. Words, if spoken out of anything negative pierces the soul. That pain runs deep. It is not easy to get over, and yet we still fall. We say things out of anger, hurt, jealously, envy, doubt, frustration and fear. When we allow ourselves to do this and not consider how this may effect the person on the receiving end, it is not always easily fixed. And yet we go on about our business and not realize the scar we just left. Willingness to help one heal should also be a part of life. When we know we have hurt someone than we should be willing to go and apologize. To admit fault. To own the scar we have left and do what we can to heal it. We need not be superficial in doing so, but be sincere. Be broken over the pain you caused another. Make every effort to change it and in doing so they will see your heart. It is one of the hardest things we as humans seem to be able to do. Our society dictates it is much easier to tear done than to build up.
Building one up is a wonderful thing. It promotes unity. It helps someone feel better about themselves. It may be the one thing a person needs to help them out of a depression or making a bad decision. It also can act as a domino effect. In building one person up, it will in turn help them to go and build another person up and the positive cycle that comes from that is far more rewarding than the negative caused by ugly words.
Both of these scenarios have been a part of my life the past several weeks. The scars of hurt that have been thrown my way have not yet healed. The words that were spoken have hurt me deeply. They have thrown me off balance and caused me to doubt. It has been a battle of mind over satan, and cannot say that he has not won some of the battles that I have been fighting. It was a hard week to find the spiritual direction to help me out of this hole. Could not find the word to study out to help me heal. This week I wrestled and still today am doing so. What I know for sure is that finally being able to find that place through scripture at the end of the week made for a better few days. This is the beginning of my healing and sometimes you fight alone. Sometimes God is saying please do not give up, I am here. I will never leave you. Turn to me and I will listen, lean on me and I will heal you. And so he is. It is coming along. The bandage that covered the scar is now acting as a healing and not just a cover up. Wrestling demons is hard. They know when to attack. They know the buttons to push. They work hard to push them. My life this week was flawed. I made mistakes. I fell short. I was in that pit and that rope seemed to not have a knot at the end to catch me. Then the clouds parted, and there he was just waiting in that old familiar place. God wanted to hear from me. God wanted to hold onto to me. God wanted me to look to him and turn from the tempter. God's words saved me, they helped me, they showed me. And now the climb is there again. Now the joy is coming back. Now I am ready to fight and know that it is fighting with God not against him.
The build up came from three wonderful women, who through all of this have had my back and I was not even aware they did. They were acting as my guardian angels. They were fighting with me. They were praying for me. They saw the pain, the heard the hurt, they knew were the hurt was coming from and they chose to protect me. They chose to help with the healing and I was not even aware. Hearing this helped me as well know that when I was wrestling the tempter, it was them who were fighting on my side and saying father give her the strength she needs to know she can beat this. My soul was more lifted up. Realizing that we have people in our life that will always be there fighting for you and praying for you is one of the greatest gifts. My heart cracked as it was brought to my attention. What it made me feel was loved. It showed me that even in my absence love remains. And that is what God was helping me to run to. To say that I feel very blessed would be small. Beyond blessed and truly grateful to be a servant of God. There are no words to describe the joy that comes from deep and lasting friendships. Had no idea this level of love is what these ladies felt for me. My heart has taken a picture and left a lasting print.
So, I say again, it is important to deal with issues, it is important to resolve matters. We are not promised another day. Love covers over much. Heal those hurts. Get the help you need to work through it. Never give up and never quit. Make every effort to live in peace with one another. It is a stronghold.