My Journey

Subject: My Journey Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:39 pm

[

size=12][center]The smell of fresh distilled spirits
and the aroma that fills the air,
the joy of knowing
that troubles will soon be past.
As I watch with familiar eyes
I see the ease with each mouthful
of false hope and laughter
for no reason other than a light head.
A childlike behavior seeping
with each moment of non-reality.
But soon will be lost
as the spirits turn stale
and the air is thick with paranoia and distrust.
I see you get tense;
I see that look in your eye
I know it is time to pretend to care
so I do not have to pay the consequences.
You start to accuse and abuse
for no reason can I understand,
but I will take what lies ahead
for my fate has stepped in,
for this night I will take my journey
I thought was my life.
As I pray I feel my warm body,
I have life,
I have spirituality,
my higher power.
My life is my own
and my journey must begin with me.

Subject: Re: My Journey Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:59 pm

Wow, that is heavy. You portrayed well the despair and emptiness I feel in this one. Nice work.

At the end of it, I wondered why it referred to a "higher power" rather than the Lord, and that this person decided not to put their life in His hands and decided that the journey needed to begin with him or her instead of the Lord. Just food for thought.

Also, here's a suggestion for how it might be arranged to help it flow a little better:

The smell of fresh distilled spirits
and the aroma that fills the air,
the joy of knowing
that troubles will soon be past.
As I watch with familiar eyes
I see the ease with each mouthful
of false hope and laughter
for no reason other than a light head.
A childlike behavior seeping
with each moment of non-reality.
But soon will be lost
as the spirits turn stale
and the air is thick with paranoia and distrust.
I see you get tense;
I see that look in your eye
I know it is time to pretend to care
so I do not have to pay the consequences.
You start to accuse and abuse
for no reason can I understand,
but I will take what lies ahead
for my fate has stepped in,
for this night I will take my journey
I thought was my life.
As I pray I feel my warm body,
I have life,
I have spirituality,
my higher power.
My life is my own
and my journey must begin with me.

Subject: Re: My Journey Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:14 am

Thanks for the feedback Lora.
I wrote this poem a long time ago when my life was coming out of a very difficult stage and I didnt really know God. I only new the term 'Higher Power' from a 12 step programme I was going to, so hence the journey was my own.
I know now that I am in Gods hands and Jesus is my personal saviour and all things are in him. I didnt feel I wanted to change this as it was 'My Journey' at the time.

Bless you
Nat

Subject: Re: My Journey Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:15 am

What an awesome praise report! I too was delivered from alcoholism many years ago. I never went to a program for help, as I was too stubborn, so the Lord had to miraculously deliver me. Nothing is too great for Him. In view of where this piece is coming from, it makes it even more special. I feel blessed that you allowed us to read it. Thank you.

Subject: Re: My Journey Sun Apr 01, 2012 7:12 pm

Thats awesome that the Lord deliverd you from such a disease.
Yes you ar right nothing is too great for our Lord. My husband is actually the alcoholic and my programme was Al-anon, this is a 12 step for friends and families of alcoholics. So this is written as myself living in the emotions of those times. He is now 17 years sober, praise God !

Nat x

Subject: Re: My Journey Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:13 pm

It seems he's got me beat by five years. I'm so glad you took the initiative to attend that Al-anon group. When one member of the family is sick, all are. Alcoholism creates havoc and devastation wherever it goes. I'm so thrilled to hear you and your family made it out of that, maybe not unscathed but most certainly stronger. God is so good to us.