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 Destruction of self

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rhymarhyma
WRITERS’ MENTOR (500 + posts)
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rhymarhyma

Posts : 549
Join date : 2011-08-11
Location : Denver, CO

Destruction of self Empty
PostSubject: Destruction of self   Destruction of self EmptyFri Aug 12, 2011 2:21 pm

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen...

Forgive me, Father, for I am sin

I try and turn away from evil, but it comes from within

I feel my lips curl up into a sinister grin

I recognize my demon, and my demon is skin

Under the cover of night, another lover tonight

though I know in my heart that it's just not right

Salvation and redemption are in my sight

but the temptation of seduction I just can't fight

Instruction and direction that would surely set me free

turn to destruction of self, and all I could be

One more night, one more woman, one more suicidal spree

I know Jesus saves, so please save me from me
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Lora
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Lora

Posts : 5907
Age : 53
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Southern CA

Destruction of self Empty
PostSubject: Re: Destruction of self   Destruction of self EmptyFri Aug 12, 2011 3:15 pm

Your line:



Forgive me father, for I am sin



Is a nice example of alliteration. I love that line.



I can feel the inner conflict in the poem very stronly. Nice job!
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http://loraconnor.com
 
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