Poem(lengthy , hard core, may upset sensitive persons)

It hit me like a ton of concrete, falling to my knees, I have reached this point
You, Lord, have shown me my anger ,bitterness
All the emotional blocks hindering me from Your Divine healing, love.
Showing me how much of a load my burdens have become
How much I have bottled up inside, roots so deep I don't know if they can ever be broken
Crying on the floor, crying to You, for You. Hold me, I know I've messed up but hold me
Heavenly Father please embrace me. Break these chains of bitterness and anger.
Screaming it out now, it feels as if my spirit is screaming as well
The force inside my chest ready to burst open and just reveal all the hurt,
The secret pain I hide from not only the world but from myself
Years upon years, every tear I refused to let fall grew into a root of bitterness
Every harsh word said to me that I swept under the rug to try to forget with a fake smile on my face
Even as those words cutting as a sword, deep, twisting on the way down as I swallowed the hurt
And pain it caused. Yes, words do hurt, they make you bleed, but in my ignorance
I just said ," that's life, deal with it" and alas, the shards remained
When memories come up it cuts all over again. Then, even again you bury it.
I am damaged, yes, but I am doing more harm when it comes to serving God
All these roots all these emotions are hindering His love and healing to flow through me
So my brothers and sisters can see Him and honor Him
Broken down as a piece of machinery lying on the floor
I cry out, I see Father, Help me!! Clean me out, cleanse me , deliver me so that I can fulfill Your will
Please Father, I don't want to live by my will anymore, I want to be Your will,and Your way
Shine through me Father so that they may see you and only You, never me