Testimony

You can't spell believe without lie 
and I've been fed those plenty of times
by plenty of believers including myself 
Saying they believe in me 
Like they know what it means
Like they follow it with action and put feet to what they see 
I've been so bitter for so long
My soul longs for something more
Like my adolescent mind craving someone to knock on my hearts doors

And I always thought freedom was so beautiful but wasn't worth the fight
So I spent years exhaling the days and breathing in the night
Filling my lungs with darkness and locking them tight
If there was one thing I could do I would do it right
and make my identity the one who owns shadows and hides in plain sight
      So here I stand in chains wanting things to change but can't help but stay the same
And the links between bitterness and hopelessness cross the locks on my wrists across my chest below the weight of depression tied around my neck
Oh! It got so hard to look ahead with this crown of shame planted on my head
I am the king of nothing reigning over nothing praying for someone to become something and save me from everything
And I've been in power so long the powerlessness has got to my head
This is madness
This can't be
it's not the reality
But Its my reality
I've put my death to life
And put my life 6 feet deep
Where I hid my heart 
And my Hell's keys 

But My God!
My God!
The message has been received
That my God came to death to live life with me
That through death he went six deep to save my heart and take the keys
That through ressurection He exhaled life into me and now It's His Spirit I breathe

My God
My God
You Have shown me my identity
I used to hide in plain sight but now it's plain sight that hides in me

You bore a crown of thorns and broke my crown of shame
You took up that wooden cross and took away my weight
You died...
GOD DIED
so that I may be saved

Oh, My God!
I have freedom now your blood says I'm worth the fight
It says my life was worth your life
It says that I am your bride!

What do you call a war that's already won?!
VICTORY!

I was the king of deceit living in defeat until I met the King of Kings who started a war on a tree
Said "It is finished"
and proved it on day three!
I was bought 
But
I
Am
Free!

And I think back to all the times I've put words to my head and pulled the trigger
Instead of putting your word to my chest and pushing straight through to my heart...
Beats like the pound of drums
Like the pound of my pulse echoing your love

So your Kingdom's come
Your wills been done
And it's flowing in my blood
When the world cuts me I bleed
But it's not blood it's love

You can't spell believe without "lie" and I've been fed those plenty of times by plenty of believers including myself
But that was before the Good News
That was before the truth
You Always believed in me
Even when I didn't believe in you.